Trial and Error

 Contributors: The Creators

We were very excited try our hand at making humans, but it is not as simple as willing them into existence. (Other gods will boast about these abilities, but we think it's just something they tell their creations.) We will discuss all our attempts and the good, the bad, and the ugly results.

Mud: The Bad

It was SUPER easy to shape little humans out of this material. Mud is an abundant resource and the process is quick and easy. Just wet some dirt and shape away.

Now for the downsides. These guys are way too soft. What's worse is that they can't multiply or produce any coherent speech. Not the best result if you want some intelligent creatures to worship you. So this attempt was squashed and scrapped.

Wood: The Ugly

This is a strong and firm material. Way more sturdy than the mud. They could speak and move around pretty well, but this version of humans still didn't have a soul. Don't expect them to worship you anytime soon. We're pretty sure they just don't have the capacity to.

If you still want to try your hand at this method, we really have to warn you about how resilient they are. We tried to scrap these guys too, but they just wouldn't go down. We tried flooding the area with sap...sent wild animals to tear them apart, but they still survived, albeit with a lot of complications. The ones that survived took a pretty hard beating and looked pretty messed up once we were through. We all felt a little bad once we saw them struggling to stay alive, so we kept them. 

They are now a lower life form we named monkeys. They looks a little bit like humans, but definitely not as high quality.

Corn: The Good, The Best

At this point we were pretty discouraged. Luckily some animals had shown us the way to a new, wonderful material: Corn.

At long last, here is our perfected recipe for human beings.

Ingredients:

For the body 

- 4 pieces of Yellow and White corn

- 3/4 cup of cold butter (cubed into small pieces)

- 1/4 cup of cold water

For the Corn Drink

- 2 pieces of Yellow and White Corn

- 1 cup of water

Instructions:

The Bodies:

1.) Grind up the 4 pieces corn into a meal.

2.) Add in the cold water and stir.

3.) Add in the cubed butter and turn the mixture onto a floured surface.

4.) Knead the dough until it becomes firm and uniform.

5.) Let the dough rest in a cool and dry area for about 10 minutes.

6.) Shape the body into whatever form you please.

Corn Drink

1.) Grind the rest of the corn into meal.

2.) Place the cornmeal into a pot and add in the water.

3.) Bring the mixture to a simmer and continuously stir until it is thick and viscous.

Once you complete these two processes, you are ready to bring your little friends to life! Simply let the dough bodies consume the corn drink and they will immediately start to develop muscles and flesh.

Now remember, you want humans that will worship you. We let our first batch roam around and explore the world we created. This resulted in them gaining a concerning amount of wisdom. If this happens to you, just blow some fog into their eyes. This should prevent them from surpassing your status as a god.

Good Luck!